May I Have Your Attention Please?

I have embarked on a new journey. One that will, hopefully, have lasting impact on my children, particularly my oldest. Zack was recently diagnosed with AD/HD-Inattentive type. He also has Adjustment Disorder, anxiety and depression, no doubt as a result of the struggles he has experienced in school as a result of the AD/HD.

As an avid learner who loves research (hello, history major!), I have made it my mission to learn all I can to help him successfully navigate his path through life. This should not only help him, but Ian (the youngest Cronk boy) as well. What I'm learning is that the changes we make at home will be helpful and easy to implement. It is the changes at school that I am worried about. From experience from the past few years, I struggle with my confidence in the school's ability to be as innovative and accommodating as they need to be to help ALL students achieve.

As I read, I find myself becoming more and more excited about the possibility of innovative reform in our schools. How thrilling would it be for every child to have an individualized instruction plan (IEP) from the day they entered the school house doors? One that followed them through their academic career and customized their education to their own specific needs. If you were an auditory learner, you would be able to have tests administered orally. Or, if you were a kinesthetic learner, you could demonstrate your knowledge through a hands-on project. That would be truly individualized instruction!

As Zack gravitates toward middle school, I am hopeful that he is entering an environment that will recognizes his strengths, maximizing those to overcome or reduce his weaknesses. I am hopeful that he will encounter educators that see his intellect and his vibrant character, and who want to do everything possible to make this kid shine. I am daring to believe that they will look beyond tradition and grab onto innovative teaching opportunities that will help not only my son, but all learners.

With that said, I am again a new passenger on this voyage through life with a child who has AD/HD, and am always looking for new resources. I know there are others out there who are far more knowledgeable and have blazed the path before me. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with me!

Ode to Valentine's Day

I have a confession to make... I'm in love with my best friend. It's amazing how that realization creeps up on me every now and again and - wham! - just hits me right in the heart. Funny thing... it usually forces its way into my consciousness when he's at his worst. Like today, for example.

My best friend just had hip replacement surgery and has been struggling with the pain. As he would drift off to sleep or as I helped him take his first post-operative shower, I would just stare in amazement at how much I love this man.

The grand jestures and the special, romantic days are great, but I find that my soul connects more with his when there is no reason for it. After nearly 13 years of being together, there certainly is a special beauty to realizing the depth of emotion you feel for another human being for no reason at all.

In looking at his sleeping face or watching him fight through his pain, my love and pride for him seized me entirely. On Valentine's Day, of all days, there wasn't another place I would have rather been than in this hospital, by his side. No romantic gestures, no flowers or candies, heck... not even a lot of conversation. Just him and all the wonderful things that come with it!

Happy Valentine's Day!

The Work of Remaking America

Inspirational. That is the word I use to describe today. Never before have I been inspired enough to watch a presidential inauguration. Today I heard a powerful, moving speech that sparked hope, patriotism and pride. Not only was today a historical day as our country embraced our first African-American Commander in Chief, but a day the touched and moved our nation. What a momentous day! God bless Barack Obama, his beautiful family and his presidency. Let him be the change agent we all believe him to be!

Youth Sports

You know what? There's not much I enjoy more than watching my kids play sports and being involved with the individual teams. Now granted I'm pretty particular in the teams I choose to have the kids participate in and the coaches I select to have as role models for the boys. Nonetheless, having chosen wisely, it is a distinct pleasure to go to practices and games and watch the players grow and improve while sharing the experience with a great group of parents and siblings.

I was a competitive athlete growing up and I know how important sports team interaction can be and the influence coaches have on their players. I didn't have a coach that I would consider a good role model - he was a yeller screamer, someone who didn't think twice about telling a 10-year-old they needed to lose weight. Crazy! Thankfully there are great coaches out there that put those bad coaches to shame.

Win or lose, there is nothing better than a coach that handles a team with grace and style, showing the players how to be leaders and good sportsmen. The Champions of Character program is a great example of what I'm talking about - character building as the focus rather than a simple focus on winning. Creating lifelong winners who are successful on and off the field is just what today's athletes need!

Plans & Schedules

As I sit for the second day waiting for the in-laws to decend for time with the grandchildren, I have to wonder... who says they are coming to town without giving a specific DAY or calling to let you know when to expect company?

I sat around the house all day yesterday waiting to hear from them. The grandchildren anticipated their arrival. Not a word was heard. It is already noon today, and still no word!

I just have to wonder: what happened to common courtesy, especially among family?

Nurturing... or Not

I know I'm no expert and that I'll make my fair share of mistakes as a parent. However, having married into a family that is night and day different from my own, and that is full of tension, misunderstandings and hurt... I often find myself wondering, "What's wrong with these people?"

Let me back up a minute. About two years ago, my husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary with a trip to where it all began - Des Moines, Iowa. My husband's family lives about 30 minutes from Des Moines. As this was a weekend to celebrate and enjoy each other (without our children keeping us company), we didn't travel to see his parents.

That's when all heck broke loose. We received 42-point type e-mail filled with anger as a result. Not only did we hear about not visiting, but about events that took place 15 years prior (before my entrance to the scene). Now, being one easy to succumb to guilt... I asked around about this reaction. What I found was that while some parents might be disappointed, that is the highest level of angst this event should have resulted in.

Now, I knew that my husband's relationship with his parents was not as nurturing or loving as my relationship with my own family, but I was truly amazed by the reaction (still am). Husband has not had a relationship with his family since. Now, it seems to be happening all over again - this time to his brother.

It leaves me wondering... what is "normal"? The loving, nurturing, supportive household I grew up in? Or this aggressive, hostile environment my husband and his brother seem to have lived through? I know there are families that go through much worse, but the emotional and psychological abuse parents can submit their children to is incredibly damaging. It is a credit to both these men that they have overcome and are doing as well as they are.

What doesn't make sense to me is how someone can be so eager to blame others, yet never recognize their role in creating the very situations they claim to be offended by. How can a grown adult fail to take responsibility for their own actions when they are screaming for others to take responsibility for their own?